Breastfeeding - How mindset can help your milk

How mindset can help you with breastfeeding your baby

This is part of a short series on breastfeeding and how our thoughts and feelings, even at a subconscious level can make a difference.

Many people choose not to breastfeed, and in my book Mindful Mamma I look at small rituals for those that are feeding formula as well as those who choose to breastfeed.  My book isn’t a book about breastfeeding but there is a great deal more you should know about how your mindset can play in a role in whether breastfeeding happens for you or not.

You can read part two here - the cluster feeding curveball

Let's start with where you feed your baby. 

The space you feed your baby in, at least when you are getting started, is more important than anyone thinks.  Not only are you getting to grips with the right position, how to get your baby to latch, but you’re doing it all under a muslin while trying to maintain a sense of dignity, and not flash your boobs to Andy, your husband’s best mate who just happened to drop by for “5 minutes” to see your baby.

Even if you are comfortable with Andy getting a flash of your milky mammaries, there are unconscious process that distract from the act of feeding in that situation which makes it harder.

Feeding at the beginning is a private intimate experience. It takes time to feel at ease, for you to instinctively know which is the best latch position, to be comfortable with that familiar tingling as you milk let’s down and to feel confident that your baby is getting enough. 

You’re learning a new skill and to do that you need space, you need to feel able to let everything hand out, you need to be in an environment that is calming and without any external pressure of things to do, places to go or people to see.

You need to be able to switch off and tune in.

1. A calm space and comfortable space. There is a saying 5 days on the bed, 5 days around the bed and 5 days off the bed, before evening welcoming visitors.  Being in your bed is not being lazy, it’s a place where you can recover, connect with your baby and maintain privacy.  This deep feeling of privacy at a unconscious level can help oxytocin flow which in turn increases prolactin.
2. Forget time. Get any clocks out of your eyeline. You are existing in a place where time no longer exists as you know it. Your baby has different sleeping patterns. When they are born their stomach can only hold 5-7 ml, on day three, around 22-27ml and one week 45-60ml. Measure that out and see how small those amounts are. In just one week their stomach grows from the size of a cherry to the size of an apricot. Let go of the stress of time, tune into your baby. As your stress drops your instincts have space to grow, and the quality and quantity of your milk improves.
3. Reduce people in your space. Let go of any pressure to have friends and family in your space unless every part of you needs them there. This pressure can inhibit prolactin the milk hormone. Everyone else can wait, this is your time with your baby. You brain is tuning into your baby’s cues and the more time and space you give this early on the easier it will be. Your subconscious mind is picking up on those cues
4. Have rituals. Maybe have some music you listen to, a candle you light, a simple phrase that signifies to your brain that it’s feeding time, use a specific breath like the 321 relax relax relax to activate your milk hormones, or even put on one of the breastfeeding audio-tracks on to relax your mind and trigger let-down.
5. Get support from a professional. Consistent support from something you like can really make a difference mentally. May post-natal doulas have additional breastfeeding support training. Have someone there to make you a cup of tea, hold your baby while you get ready. They can normalise everything that is hard and acknowledge what you may be feeling, which can make all the difference.
6. Use hypnosis for breastfeeding. Yes, hypnosis. Mindset tools such as hypnosis and mindfulness can increase bonding, and evidence shows that relaxation can improve the quality and quantity of your milk.

The role that the subconscious plays in breastfeeding

All the above create the space for your subconscious mind to adapt and adjust to the environment you are in. Unnecessary visitors and expectations crowd the mind and drown out other noise. When it’s learning a powerful new skill, it’s as if you are unable to hear what your body and mind are telling you.

Your body will react to spaces that make you feel quiet, safe and unobserved. It will love when you take the pressure off. Stop clock watching, stop expecting to feed like a pro in the first few weeks, and allow you mind time to lay down those neurons, to learn the pathways to feeding at a pace that is comfortable for you and your baby.

➡️ You can learn more about breastfeeding hormones and some powerful mindset tools to help with everything from setting up your space through to the challenges of cluster feeding with my online audio-tracks to support your breastfeeding skills!  Check out the breastfeeding audio tracks here 

Read part two of this series here on cluster feeding. Here