A space for you, the birth partner
There is so little written for birth partners. So I created this page for you. You have your own worries and fears and whilst antenatal class can teach you massage, positioning, pain relief options, they don't give you a mental compass. This page gives you a few resources to help address any fears, or anxieties about birth.
See the courseYou have a role here, and it is not to fix anything
If you are reading this I am guessing that you are a birth partner that wants to be useful. However, when someone you love is doing something as intense as birthing, the instinct is often to fix, to solve, to make it better. Learning that birth doesn't need fixing, is the first step to becoming the birth partner you need to be.
Learning how to be a steady, strong and present birth partner matters. This is why the class I teach was, as far as I know, the first to include a section written specifically for partners.
Your fears and worries will be different and your experience will be unique to you as well. You may care less about what the body is doing, more about how do we get there on time, how do I keep them safe, and what do I do when I can see them in pain and cannot take it away.
What hypnosis actually does for you
Hypnosis is not just for the person who is birthing. The same tools, a calm breath, focused attention give you a way of managing your own thoughts and feedings without being carried away by them.
A calm and confident partner changes the room. Fear travels quickly in a birth space and you may have heard the term "adrenaline is contagious". This is true - the last thing you want in a birth room is someone fussing and feeling stressed. It can slow labour down and make it harder to birth.
Learning to settle your own nervous system before the day means you can also stay present and focused if things take a different path. This is one of the first things I teach partners, because it makes a noticeable difference to how the whole experience unfolds.
If blood, needles or hospitals unsettle you, deal with it now rather than on the day
A surprising number of birth partners carry a phobia they have never really addressed. Blood, needles, hospitals, the particular smell of a clinical room. It tends not to come up until the day itself, and then it shows up in a partner who has gone pale, or light-headed, or has had to leave at exactly the wrong moment. You do not want the midwife dividing her attention between the birth and picking you up off the floor.
This is not something to be embarrassed about. Phobic responses are fast, physical and largely outside conscious control, which is why willpower on the day rarely holds. What does work is addressing it in advance, with the right tools, while there is still time.
The chapter written just for you
When I wrote Mindful Hypnobirthing I included an abridged chapter written specifically for birth partners. It is deliberately shorter than the rest of the book, written to be read in one sitting, and it covers the why and the how without asking you to read the whole book.
When you start to open your mind to it's own potential you may find that it takes you on a powerful journey of self-discovery. Not just for birth but for other areas of your life.
Reading for partners
Short pieces written for the person in the room, not the person giving birth.
Birth partner: are you a fixer or a facilitator?
Most of us are fixers. The difference between fixing and facilitating, and why it matters on the day.
Hypnobirthing: what about your birth partner?
Why partners need their own preparation rather than just a seat in the room, and what actually helps.
Thresholds and transitions: maiden to motherhood
What birth asks of a mother, and what that means for the person standing beside her.
The partner track
A free hypnosis track made for birth partners. It works on the part of you that wants to step in and fix things, so that on the day you can be present without needing to do anything at all.
Listen to it a few times before the birth. You may not notice that it's working, until you realise it it is!
Send me the partner track
Two ways in
Do the course together
Every section of the Mindful Hypnobirthing course ends with tips written specifically for the partner, so you are never working out your role from material aimed at someone else.
Have your own hypnosis session
If there is a deeper fear, an old anxiety, or a phobia that needs proper attention, a one-to-one session is the place for it. You do not need to bring anyone with you.
